Four forward, one back

Just when I thought I was safe! Ha.

Next Thursday would be my fourth wedding anniversary, if I still had those. The big milestones are hard for me. Hello, what might have been, did you miss me? Hey there, how a life can change over the course of a year, it’s been a while. How you been?

It could be worse; it could be much worse. Even so, it hurts. All the things I worked for, all the parts of myself and my soul that I poured out into this thing, this strange being of a relationship, gone. Hopes and dreams, time and passion, faith and confidence. I only learn how much I put in as I get each piece back; it’s a lot. I wonder how much of me is left in there, how much I will get back.

I will be fine – it’s four steps forward, one step back – but every now and again it reaches down and whomps me hard on the head, in the heart.

Whomp.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Four forward, one back

  1. And when it whomps you .. then if you need come here…and we will be here to give you a hug..

    *huggggss*

    And even though I know I cannot make you not feel sad or remember the pain … know that when I read of this …or people who I have made friends with on here …I read and I wish I could somehow take some of the pain away. And think … maybe sometimes just sending a note saying I am reading what you write … maybe that helps some.

    Anniversary’s are hard nods … but it will get better ok. As next Thursday looms closer … come here if you need. Or look at happy pictures if you can. Or vent if you need.

    *gives you another hug* you will find more of yourself again.

  2. Thank you. I suppose it’s good that the hard moments surprise me now; that means they are few and far between. This is the spot I feel like I can deal with my anger, and the lingering hurt. Just getting it out helps.

    • Hugs you again then…and lets you know….though you already do …that they will suddenly sneak up on you …those hard memories … sometimes at the weirdest of times too. That is normal

      *sends good thoughts your way*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s